Friday 19 July 2013
Saturday 25 May 2013
A new lease of life, and a new follower on twitter, Paul Cann.
It is Wednesday morning, and I shall soon be with my very good friends at the Age UK singing group in Witney.
Back when I had undergone two house moves on top of Gill's death and life felt very fragile and uncertain it was great to be able to join in with others and sing.
Today it is as if I was fifteen years younger. The change came quite quickly with the spring this year. Suddenly I had strength, stamina and energy again.
It has been hard to judge what exactly the turning point was, but things picked up rapidly following my presentation to about a hundred people at Birmingham City Football club on the theme of Death in Our Society.
Afterwards, the Medical Director of the John Taylor Hospice wrote to me that it had been a brilliant and memorable presentation.
He bought a copy of my book, "A Journey Through Grief."
If only I had received as warm a welcome when I was looking for support from Age UK, when I was trying to launch the book.
The chief executive of "Dying Matters" shared a platform with me to launch the book.
Age UK would not help in any way at all.
Instead, all I received was a curt e-mail to say that they would not help. No valid reasons given.
They could have told me that they were organising a big event at the town hall which would have been a great place to promote my book. They did not mention it.
I turned up having heard it mentioned on the Today programme that morning.
Age UK has taken over the Oxfordshire befriending Network, where I used to work co-ordinating counselling. I met the new boss there who was keen to work with me on end of life training.
That did not happen. There were no responses to my e-mails from Oxbel.
She soon left that job. Why?
I attempted to speak to the director of Age UK at the lunch break that day. He refused to speak to me.
When I said I would make a complaint he raised both hands with his thumbs up, which I took to mean he welcomed the idea, and equally that he did not care if I did complain.
I found this a bizarre response.
It gave me the impression that any complaint made would be ignored.
No competent manager encourages people to complain.
A moment's politeness exchanged for months of bitter acrimony! Folly.
I contacted Age UK head office Nationally and complained to them. They promised to get back to me but have not done so in over a year. I contacted the office again and have not received an acknowledgement. Instead, I find that Paul Cann is following me on Twitter.
Recently I have made more attempts to connect with Oxbel.
Eventually, after I said I would complain at their lack of response I received a telephone call from someone who said she was in charge of Oxbel now, but had no knowledge of anything I was talking about.
She said she had just suffered a significant bereavement and was new to the job.
I expressed my sincere condolences and suggested she should maybe take some time off. She hardly seemed to know what day it was.
I am not sure if there is any point in complaining to Age UK.
Their publicity says they aim to make everyone feel valuable and valued.
In most of my interactions with their management I have felt unworthy or worthless.
I don't expect that from any organisation let alone one that claims to offer positive value to all members.
Luckily,my singing group is left to run undisturbed by Age UK. Managers are almost never around.
Back when I had undergone two house moves on top of Gill's death and life felt very fragile and uncertain it was great to be able to join in with others and sing.
Today it is as if I was fifteen years younger. The change came quite quickly with the spring this year. Suddenly I had strength, stamina and energy again.
It has been hard to judge what exactly the turning point was, but things picked up rapidly following my presentation to about a hundred people at Birmingham City Football club on the theme of Death in Our Society.
Afterwards, the Medical Director of the John Taylor Hospice wrote to me that it had been a brilliant and memorable presentation.
He bought a copy of my book, "A Journey Through Grief."
If only I had received as warm a welcome when I was looking for support from Age UK, when I was trying to launch the book.
The chief executive of "Dying Matters" shared a platform with me to launch the book.
Age UK would not help in any way at all.
Instead, all I received was a curt e-mail to say that they would not help. No valid reasons given.
They could have told me that they were organising a big event at the town hall which would have been a great place to promote my book. They did not mention it.
I turned up having heard it mentioned on the Today programme that morning.
Age UK has taken over the Oxfordshire befriending Network, where I used to work co-ordinating counselling. I met the new boss there who was keen to work with me on end of life training.
That did not happen. There were no responses to my e-mails from Oxbel.
She soon left that job. Why?
I attempted to speak to the director of Age UK at the lunch break that day. He refused to speak to me.
When I said I would make a complaint he raised both hands with his thumbs up, which I took to mean he welcomed the idea, and equally that he did not care if I did complain.
I found this a bizarre response.
It gave me the impression that any complaint made would be ignored.
No competent manager encourages people to complain.
A moment's politeness exchanged for months of bitter acrimony! Folly.
I contacted Age UK head office Nationally and complained to them. They promised to get back to me but have not done so in over a year. I contacted the office again and have not received an acknowledgement. Instead, I find that Paul Cann is following me on Twitter.
Recently I have made more attempts to connect with Oxbel.
Eventually, after I said I would complain at their lack of response I received a telephone call from someone who said she was in charge of Oxbel now, but had no knowledge of anything I was talking about.
She said she had just suffered a significant bereavement and was new to the job.
I expressed my sincere condolences and suggested she should maybe take some time off. She hardly seemed to know what day it was.
I am not sure if there is any point in complaining to Age UK.
Their publicity says they aim to make everyone feel valuable and valued.
In most of my interactions with their management I have felt unworthy or worthless.
I don't expect that from any organisation let alone one that claims to offer positive value to all members.
Luckily,my singing group is left to run undisturbed by Age UK. Managers are almost never around.
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